Man-Day Post: Things Your Computer Guy Won't Tell You
It's time for this week's Man-day post by Jensguy.
Here are a few things that every person you have ever asked to fix your computer wished you knew, but are probably never going to come right out and tell you. So I will.
1. There are no secrets. When someone is servicing your computer, they will ask some questions. If they are good at what they do, they will not ask stupid embarrassing questions. Please tell them the truth. They will find out eventually anyway, all they want to do is save you and them some time, which is important if you are paying them. If you download questionable coupon software, they will know, if you spy for the Russians, they will likely figure that out as well. If you have a folder of boudoir photography, don't leave it in an easily accessible place, especially if it is your nephew working on your computer.
2. If someone is working on your computer, just let them be. There really isn't any need to check your email, or anything really, while the person is working. It's terribly rude and makes you look borderline obsessive compulsive. Also, if you have questions, save them until after the work is done. Don't force the tech to provide you a blow by blow of what they are working on or what they are doing. At best it might annoy them, at worst they might actually let you know all of the brain-numbing details.
3. You should definitely ask about the solution AFTER the work is done. This may help you prevent the same problem from happening again. If the techie cannot explain the issue and tell you exactly how it was fixed, there is a good chance that it wasn't fixed correctly. Even if you do not completely understand what he/she is saying, you will be able to detect their confidence in their solution. The only decent techie who was also a confident liar is sitting in an unnamed apartment in Moscow. Don't let him work on your computer!
4. Yes, you can get a virus even if you have virus protection. This is especially true if your virus protection is the six month trial of McAfee Antivirus that you received on your computer that expired 5 years ago. If you have teenagers that use your computer, it is probably safe to assume that you already have a virus of some sort on your machine.
5. If your computer is over 10 years old, it is way beyond the point of servicing. We are tech experts, not archeologists.
6. If you are having a relative of friend work on your machine, don't take advantage of the relationship. If the only time they see your number on their caller ID is when you have a computer problem, you need to come up with a different arrangement. They WILL start avoiding you no matter how wonderful you are.
Note- This doesn't apply if you are actually MARRIED to the computer expert. In that case you have earned round the clock service for actually putting up with them full time. Backrubs don't hurt either.
7. If your techie removes your coupon, emoticon, or free online poker software, don't go reinstalling it after they leave. They removed it because it was harming your machine, not to punish you. If the software they removed is essential to you, it is probably appropriate to ask them about safe alternatives that don't come loaded with viruses. As a general rule of thumb, it is ALWAYS best to avoid programs that combine free online poker WITH emoticons.
8. Every bad thing that happens to your computer is likely not the fault of the person who serviced your machine a year ago. Sometimes things go wrong just because computers are stupid. Be glad for this. Incredibly smart computers often lead to other problems:
Fortunately I am equipped to deal with this. Also, zombies. Just email me and we'll put you in the queue. . .
